Brandarahornið

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ 女王 Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Kannski ekki brandari en skondið ljóð

When the Good Lord gave out faces to the dogs long ago,
He found, when he had issued them there was still one dog to go -

"Where's this dog's face?" He called aloud, "I know I must have made it.
There must be someone hereabouts who's clumsily mislaid it."

A shy young angel then stepped up, "Forgive me, Lord," he said.
He stuttered and he stammered and he turned a little red-

"I never thought it was a face - it fell out of your bag.
So I thought you had discarded it as just a piece of rag.-

"So I promptly went and used it for so very many things,
Like polishing up the halos and waxing up the wings.

"It's creased and crumpled as you see - in truth it's a disgrace..
I don't know how my dearest Lord, you can use it for a face.

"I realise it's all my fault, and there's no one else to blame.
I trust you can forgive me Lord, My heart's so full of shame."

"Of course I have forgiven you, but here we've got a mess,
So I'll make amends to this poor dog and him I'll truly bless.

"He'll be called an 'English Bulldog' that's about the only place
Where the people are so silly as to love an ugly face.

But he'll be kind and gentle and of courage he'll be full -
As well as love and loyalty - the ugly, lovely Bull."

And that is how, my children, in that long-gone year of grace
The dear old English Bulldog got his lovely, ugly face. . .

By A.N.K. Hobbs

Haha þetta var flott!

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Prjón er þerapía: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pjusken/

This woman goes to her husband.

"The car has a flat tire" she told him.

"Does it look like I have 'firestone' written on my head?" he replied.

"Ugh" she walked outta the room.

The next day when her husband walked in from work she said.

"The dish washer down." She told him.

"Does it look like I have 'whirlpool' written on my forehead?"

"Ugh"

The next her husband came home and asked her.

"How did u get this stuff done?"

"The guy next door told me he'd fix them if I gave him a blow job or if I baked him a cake."

"Oh what kinda cake did ya bake him?" he asked her.

"Does it look like I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"

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http://lefunny.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/How-girls-look-at-other-hot-girls-lefunny.net_.gif

It's https://iogamesio.org so great. Young people will love it

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